How does today bring you? This past week? This past hour?
Whatever feelings you have in reflecting on the past, I encourage your to take a moment to pause, look around you and take in a couple of deep breaths. We all need this reminder from time to time.
Before getting into this week’s bedtime story, I want to give you some context around how I came up with the topic…
I was recently invited on a panel with other powerhouse women to discuss modern motherhood, and the first question they asked us was “How do you think your pregnancy differed from that of your mother’s?” My instant response was COMPLETELY, in so many ways, but then as I sat there and listened to the other women on the panel say the exact opposite, it really got me thinking. Was my mom just holding back the harsh realities of pregnancy all these years as a way to protect me from having any fears around it? Or perhaps it had been so long that she only remembered the positive feelings and moments on her journey - and blocked out the ones that were anything but?
As a proud, passionate and insanely driven mom of four littles under the age of seven, believe me when I tell you that I have some jaw-dropping revelations for you. So get ready because we’re about to dive into the deep, dark secrets your mom conveniently forgot to mention about pregnancy; and embrace your inner chuckle from time to time as we expose the unspoken truths about pregnancy!
Pregnancy: Your New Reality TV Show
Forget about your favourite reality TV shows; the real reality TV drama happens right in your belly. You never knew your tummy could host such wild parties! Prepare for baby kicks that feel like black belt karate chops, fetal hiccups that feel like the heavy drum beat at the club, and mysterious bumps and wiggles that could easily qualify for as an Olympic gymnast. Who needs Netflix when you have a personal in-utero reality TV show?
The Sniffer of Steel
Move aside, superheroes, there's a new scent sensation in town! During pregnancy, your nose takes on a life of its own. You become the bloodhound of the human world, sniffing out odors that would make a cheeseburger jealous. But beware, because your once-beloved fragrances may also become your arch-enemies. Adios, lovely perfumes and candles; hello, strange aversion to anything remotely pleasant-smelling. Sorry, floral-scented candles, you're no match for my super-sensitive sniffer now!
Teenage Hormones Gone Wild
We all know pregnancy messes with your hormones, but nobody warned me about the next level type of emotional rollercoaster ride I was about to embark on. I was crying over a cute kitten video one minute and laughing maniacally at a dad joke the next. The good news is your hormones do eventually balance out again, but buckle up because that may not happen until after your postpartum.
Cravings That Make No Sense (But Taste So Right)
Forget fancy food; pregnancy unleashes your inner culinary mad scientist. You'll come up with new food combos that defy logic and put Iron Chef to shame. Who needs a gourmet meal when you can munch on bacon bits with ice cream or douse watermelon in hot sauce? Your taste buds become adventurous explorers, ready to conquer the wildest and weirdest cravings. Embrace the delicious madness!
The Hairy Situation (Literally)
Here's a hairy truth your mom probably skipped over: pregnancy can turn you into a walking Chewbacca. Your hormones play hairstylist and give you luscious locks in unexpected places. Waxing appointments become a more common ritual, and you'll hold your tweezers near and dear. Thanks Mom for leaving that gem out!
Your Incredible Expanding Feet
No, it's not a myth. During pregnancy, your feet can undergo a Cinderella-esque transformation. Get ready to bid adieu to your favorite shoes and prepare for a journey into the land of comfort footwear. Hello dear crocs! Embrace the puffy-footed goddess you've become and rock those comfy, yet stylish, sandals like it's nobody's business!
The Battle of the Sleepless Nights
Get ready for a sleep marathon like no other. Remember those blissful nights of uninterrupted slumber? Well, say goodbye to those my friend. Pregnancy gifts you with a front-row ticket to the Insomnia Olympics. As your belly grows, finding a comfortable sleeping position becomes as elusive as finding a unicorn in your backyard. You'll toss, turn, and perfect the art of pillow fort construction, all while counting sheep and googling "safe sleep positions for pregnant women" at 3 a.m. I bet your mom never told you it was going to be a nocturnal adventure!
The Symphony of Weird Noises
Move over Beethoven because your body is about to conduct a symphony of strange noises. Pregnancy introduces you to a whole new world of unexplained sounds emanating from your belly. From the gurgles that rival a tropical rainforest to the alien-like growls that make your partner question if they should be scared or amused, your mom definitely skipped over this fascinating auditory experience. Enjoy the concert, maestro!
The Pantless Days of Glory
Say farewell to your favorite jeans because pants are overrated in the world of pregnancy. Your expanding belly demands freedom, and you gladly oblige. Enter the glorious phase of stretchy leggings and oversized t-shirts. Comfort reigns supreme as you strut around like a carefree goddess, embracing the no-pants life with open arms. Who needs zippers and buttons anyway?
The Battle of the Sneezes
Picture this: You're having a delightful conversation with friends, feeling confident and fabulous. Suddenly, a sneeze ambushes you out of nowhere, and you realize your mom never warned you about the sneeze struggles of pregnancy. Brace yourself for an epic battle to keep your bladder in check. Sneezes become a game of Russian roulette, and you become a master of the "cross your legs and pray" maneuver. Oh, the joys of pelvic floor exercises!
So, there you have it—10 funny, not funny secrets your mom conveniently forgot to mention about pregnancy. But fear no more mom-to-be, we're here to spill the beans and navigate this hilarious and bewildering journey together. Stay tuned for more laughs, love, and unexpected surprises along the way!
And we’re also working on a Part 2 to this blog entry, where we'll reveal even more shocking secrets your mom forgot to mention. And while the surprises keep coming, we'll be here to giggle and commiserate together.
Oh and remember too, pregnancy may have its quirks, but it's also a magical journey filled with love, laughter, and the occasional urge to eat pickles and chocolate peanut butter ice cream at 3 a.m.
Enjoy the wild ride,