When do you get to call yourself a mom?

When Do You Get to Call Yourself ‘Mom'?

Hiiii friend, 

Happy you're here. 

Motherhood is a topic that’s near and dear to my heart. It's a journey filled with endless love, joy, challenge, and confusion. And it’s a magical transformation from the woman you were to the woman you were meant to be.

The other day someone asked me a question that I’ve never really thought about, and to be honest, I didn’t really know how to answer them: “When do you get to call yourself ‘Mom’?" This seemingly simple and timeless question instantly transported me on a spiral of thoughts, reflecting back on feelings that I had in my own personal experiences, as well as that of other women’s. 

Is there a simple answer to this question?

Does everyone have the same answer to this question?

Just when does the transition from “you-hood” to motherhood actually happen? And can it only happen once? 

What if you have more than one child? Can you become a mom again?

Spoiler alert – there's no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Motherhood isn't just about biology; it's a symphony of emotions, experiences, and connections that weave us into the intricate tapestry of a family. It's a journey that can take many paths, each one filled with its own set of challenges and blessings. And it’s a mindset, above all else, which for me, started well before my kids were born - when I first found out that I was expecting. That moment was like a rollercoaster of emotions: excitement, fear, joy, and more. The anticipation of becoming a mom was building up inside me, and with each passing day, I felt more connected to the little life growing inside me.

For others it may be the joyous discovery of a tiny heartbeat on an ultrasound or that first flutter of life that ignites a love so fierce it feels almost primal. Or, it may come through the miracle of adoption, surrogacy, or blending families through marriage or partnership, where the bonds of love are nurtured and strengthened over time.

The Unbreakable Bond

There's a moment – a sacred one – when your eyes meet those of your child for the first time. It's a moment where time seems to stand still, and your heart swells with a love so immense that it can't be contained. In that instant, you realize that being a mom isn't about biology alone; it's about connecting souls and nurturing a love that transcends all barriers.

Whether your child comes from your womb or another's, that bond, that love – it's a force that shapes your identity as a mom. It's an unbreakable thread that ties you to this tiny human, and from that moment onward, you wear the title "mom" with pride. 

Embracing the Identity

Motherhood isn't a linear journey, and it’s certainly not all sunshine and rainbows. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, where you navigate uncharted territories and several moments of doubt, of feeling like you're not quite there yet.. You may question your abilities, and that's okay. Remember, no mom has it all figured out!!

Motherhood is not about perfection; it's about dedication and love. If you're taking care of a child, guiding them, loving them, you are a mom. We're all learning and growing together, and the beauty of motherhood lies in embracing the imperfections. Celebrating the highs and go easy on yourself through the lows. 

Defying Stereotypes

Language is a powerful thing, and the way we refer to ourselves and others can shape our perceptions. As a society, we often box motherhood into predefined roles and expectations, and we need to be more inclusive in our language when discussing motherhood. Being a mom isn't just about giving birth. It's about a feeling that resonates with your heart.

"Birth mom," "adoptive mom," "foster mom," and "stepmom." Each identify different paths to motherhood. Each is unique and each is just as beautiful.

Defining Your Motherhood Journey

So, when do you get to call yourself "mom"? 

You get to call yourself "mom" from the moment you open your heart to love and care for a child. Whether that's through conception, adoption, fostering, or any other path, your journey and your love is powerful.

Don't let anyone diminish your role or the impact you have on your child's life. Motherhood is a messy, beautiful, and awe-inspiring adventure. Every step of the way, you are deserving of the title “mom.”

Motherhood is also a feeling that unfolds over a lifetime, and you have the authority to define what it means to be a mom. It will inevitably transform you, shape you, and fill your heart with a love so profound, it defies words to explain. Most importantly, becoming a mom is not about reaching a destination. It’s about celebrating and embracing every step along the way.

So whether you're a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, there really is no one way to be a mom. Your love and care make all the difference in your child's life, and your journey is uniquely yours to celebrate.

From the depths of my heart to yours, know that you are cherished for every sacrifice, every smile, and every tender moment you share with your child. You are a superhero, a guiding light, and a source of endless love.

So, revel in the chaos, dance in the joy, and cherish the beauty of motherhood. Wear the title "mom" with pride, and remember, you are doing an extraordinary job. From one mom to another, let's lift each other up, support each other, and embrace the magic of this journey together.

With love and solidarity,