Congratulations! You’re pregnant (so exciting!), but you're not quite ready to tell everyone yet. Keeping a secret, especially a secret you're this excited about, is super hard - especially when you're in the middle of a holiday season full of family gatherings, work events, and other social occasions.
Honestly, it can feel like you're walking through an obstacle course of drinks, questions, soft cheeses, and social expectations.
So, what do you do?
Here are our best tips for how to keep your secret holiday gift under wraps, whether you're with family, friends, or colleagues.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
The classic question almost every pregnant person hears time and time again - and it's so hard to answer - whomever may be asking it - without having to give your secret away.
It is also among the top obstacle that pregnant women stress about navigating - especially for those who are typically known for having a drink at social events. (Though in our experience it's rarely as noticeable as you think)!
But before we go on, we just have to get out there and say that it's actually a totally impolite question to ask. There are a lot of reasons not to drink, whether it’s because you are taking certain medications, you’re just not in the mood, or whether you have made a conscious wellness decision to avoid alcohol altogether - it's really none of anyone else’s business whether you choose to have an alcoholic drink or not.
But if it does come up, there are a few ways that you can go about handling it. See below for some of our best tips.
Bring in a partner in crime
Whether it's your actual partner or someone you've entrusted with your secret news, get them in on the action. They can take that drink off your hands (literally) and drink it for you.
Get help from the bartender or your server
Approach them privately and explain to them your situation - they can also help suggest drink orders that don't look too suspicious😉!
Go for a mocktail
Try ordering a virgin mojito. It will look the same and no one will be the wiser. Or you can order a non-alcoholic beer or non-alcoholic cider for something that looks more festive. (Basically, if you have the same glass as everyone else, there are so many options to “fake it”, and no one will likely even question it.)
"I'm so hungover..."
Tell a little white lie and pretend that the previous night's festivities did you in. That way, you don't have to answer too many questions. (Full disclosure: been there, done that, more times than I can count!).
Be the designated driver
Preemptively offer to be the designated driver. That way, no one will even think twice if you're not drinking, and you have a great “excuse” if someone does offer you a drink.
Tell a version of the truth
Let your circle know that you decided to take a break from alcohol in an effort to make healthier choices this holiday season (which is technically true)!
Dress for success
Some people can make it well into their second trimester without looking pregnant, while others seem to show immediately. If you're in the latter group, try some loose-fitting dresses or tops that hit your mid-thigh or below - they'll hide your belly while still looking stylish, cute, and festive.
Also, go for black or dark blue shades. They are much less likely to show shadows or any changes in your body shape. (And luckily those colours are also a generally popular choice during the holidays!).
You can also take a cue from Hollywood - have you ever noticed when an actress is expecting and her character isn't? It's all about dressing with big purses and scarves to draw attention away from your midsection. Don’t have a scarf or big purse in your closet? Consider gifting yourself one! This fashion strategy has helped so many women in our circle several times!!
And whether you're showing or not, that first trimester can have you feeling far from your best. Pick clothes that feel comfy (while looking festive), items that you can adjust easily (when needed), and, most importantly, items that keep you feeling your best (or as close to that as possible) for all the many social gatherings you may have.
Oh! One final tip! Dress in layers. Pregnancy hormones can have you heating up so quickly that you’re roasting one minute and then freezing cold the next. Layers are key to dealing with wild temperature fluctuations and sustaining body comfort.
Fatigue and Festivities
One of the hallmark first-trimester symptoms is being tired. ALL THE TIME.
So how do you manage the fact that you now struggle to stay awake any later than 8:00 p.m., particularly when it's a season of late nights and family gatherings?
Well one thing you can do is plan ahead. If you know that there's going to be a late evening gathering, try to rest up as much as you can beforehand.
Also, don't feel bad about declining an invitation to some social events. Socializing can be exhausting (pregnant or not), and if you're already feeling tired, it's OK to say no. Pace yourself - if you go out one night, maybe you spend the next night in.
And sometimes you may just need to bail at the last minute. It's just not happening for you that night, and that's okay. It's winter and a lot of people get colds and flus this time of year, so hosts will not typically be thrown off by your last-minute decline if that’s the excuse you’re playing off of. There's nothing strange or questionable about that.
Your Own Secret Celebration
You might be feeling a bit of a tug and war. On one hand, you're pregnant! You want to tell EVERYONE and it's all you can think about. On the other hand, you have decided not to tell anyone yet.
The good news? You can have your own little celebration. Gift yourself our flagship Modern Mom-To-Be box and carve some time out this holiday season to relax and do stuff that’s just for you.
This is the perfect box to kickstart and acknowledge this momentous occasion, while still keeping it private.
Recommended for women in their first or early half of their second trimester, our Modern Mom-To-Be box features the most stunning range of premium goodies and highly sought-after exclusive items that you will use throughout your whole pregnancy journey (and some even beyond). What’s inside? Some fan favs in this box include our rumbly exclusive countdown calendar and felt pregnancy organizer, our designer studded tumbler and organic lip balm, and our vegan mints aimed to ease your nausea when it’s out there trying to get the best of you. You’ll also fall in love with our luxe gold double heart bangle, which you can add to your holiday outfit to (secretly) symbolize the two heartbeats currently beating inside you.
Well, that is a wrap on keeping your secret under wraps 😉.
If you walk away from these tips remembering just one thing, we hope it’s this: however you end up approaching this holiday season, do it your way. Trust your gut instincts and do what you need to do to keep you and your baby well. You've got this and we are most certainly rooting for you!
Happy Holidays and an extra hug from all of us at rumbly!