Love can mean a lot of things. We can say that we love our partner or that we love searching for hidden meanings in the lyrics of the new Taylor Swift album. In both these instances, we are talking about two very different feelings of love.
The love that we have for our partners is unique and special. It’s a deep, personal connection that we feel for them, and it’s different from any other kind of love in our lives. And part of that, the romantic love, may just be what got you here( ahem… baby on the way), but it can also be especially hard to maintain while you're pregnant and in the early years of motherhood, and we want to help you with that!
Let’s start by breaking down why you might be struggling to keep the flame going while you're pregnant, and then we will highlight some simple and doable things that you can do to help keep that romantic love burning.
Why Romance and Pregnancy Don't Always Get Along
If you feel like romance has gone to the wayside while you've been pregnant, let us be the first to say we have been there (multiple times, in fact), and we get it!
I mean, let's be real - there's nothing romantic about nausea, vomiting, swollen feet or your newfound lack of bladder control! Your body is being held hostage by this tiny little person, and if you don't feel confident, sexy and attractive, it's totally understandable.
While you may be spending more time in the bedroom…it’s all about ETBs (early to bed) and squeezing a nap in! We even devoted a whole article to sleep in pregnancy, but the TL:DR: pregnancy messes up your sleep. A lot of us are super tired, and as our pregnancy progresses, we can find it even harder to navigate a comfortable sleeping position.
Additionally, no one tells you how BUSY you are when you're pregnant. Seriously, it's a full-time job! You may feel like you and your partner are constantly on the go, between trying to research and register for all your baby must-haves, taking prenatal classes and attending alllllll of those doctor appointments, it’s a lot! Finding time for romance in the middle of all that may not be at the top of your list.
Again, we totally understand that - but if you are feeling like you want to get some of that romantic spark back, we have a couple of tips that can help you out.
#1 - Small Gestures Go a Long Way
You don’t have to be all cuddly and lovey-dovey to keep the romance alive. You also don't need to have a horse and carriage, rose petals everywhere-style date night.
Instead, make a point of doing something together. But like actually together, not just sitting beside each other, sending each other funny TikToks. Go for a walk, cook dinner together, play board games, watch movies - anything you both enjoy doing that keeps you together and present in the moment! (And if you’re a trivia fan, we highly recommend the After Dinner Amusements - Which Would You Choose game that we put in our Month 8 subscription box is a must. It helps shift conversations off everything baby too)
Make it your goal to feel connected, which is a lot deeper and more important. Take the time to talk about the other stuff going on in your lives. Share stories and experiences with each other, ask questions about each other’s daily life and be fully focused and present in what they have to say.
Leave love notes around the house or even just send a text during the day to say you're thinking of them. The best romantic gestures are spontaneous, so when they pop into your head, go for it!
#2 - Connect with the Woman You Are, Not Just the Mom You’re Becoming
Pregnancy changes many things, and it can be easy to forget who you were before all of this. For first-time parents, that change can be a little unsettling: in addition to being partners, you’re now going to be parents. You haven’t done that before, and like anything new, it can be a bit (or completely) daunting. Instead of dancing around that, acknowledge that shift and talk about it! We find most things are a lot less intimidating after you say them out loud.
And help your partner connect with that person again too. Maybe all your recent conversations have shifted to be all about the baby - the furniture you need to buy, what you will name them, where they will sleep, how you plan to deliver, etc. etc.
You're more than your bump, and at rumbly, we're all about the wonderful and accomplished woman that you are too. So let's remind both of you who that person is, even that means making some adjustments to fit your current pregnant life.
#3 - Take a Babymoon
A babymoon, or a romantic getaway just before baby arrives, can be the perfect way to reconnect as a couple and give you both some much-needed rest and relaxation. A weekend away at your favourite destination, or even just a staycation at home, can be so beneficial for both of you.
You don't need to book a fancy getaway - some of our favourite trips with our partners have been for just a few days away in an Airbnb, just the two of you. Whatever you decide to do, this is your chance to reconnect as a couple before the baby arrives - so make sure it's special.
That having been said, do not plan this trip like your pre-pregnancy vacations! Pace yourself, and don't try to cram in too much. Listen to your body and rest as much as you need to - pregnancy fatigue is no joke!
#4 - Understand what is happening (and remember - it's not forever!)
Your body is undergoing a lot of changes, and your hormones may be all over the place. This can lead to mood swings and exhaustion, which can sometimes be difficult for your partner to understand or handle. So, make sure you are both understanding of each other’s feelings and talk openly about your concerns or worries.
It's also important to remember that although it may sometimes feel like you've been pregnant forever, the reality is that it's only nine months. This time will pass, and it's important to be patient and kind to each other during this time.
#5 - Take time for you first
Showing up for your partner in a way that fosters real connection and romance cannot happen if you're running on empty. As they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you're spending all your time and energy focused on others and not giving yourself any love, you won't be able to bring the truest version of yourself to your relationship.
So before you plan the next date night with your partner, book your next date night with you. (And for that we definitely recommend our "Date Night for One" box that you get in Month 7 of our subscription experience.)
Taking time for yourself to relax, recharge and rejuvenate is the best thing you can do for your relationship. And making sure that you prioritize your own mental, physical and emotional health - will really help you show up as the amazing partner that you are. (Also, if you're the person that wants to track your self-care or needs something to check off, our Bingo Cards for Trimesters 1, 2 and 3 are perfect! .. just saying 😉)
Pregnancy and Romance CAN go together!
Yes, pregnancy can sometimes throw a bit of a curveball into your romantic life - but it doesn't have to. You can still enjoy romantic moments daily and keep that spark alive with simple creativity and most importantly, thoughtfulness.
We know that being pregnant is a big change, but you’re never alone in it. Sign up for our email list so you can stay up-to-date on our latest tips, favourite products and more!